A Very Special Halloween Pointless and Powerful Father/Son iPod Conversation

My 4 year old son and I engage in a special Halloween pointless and powerful father/son conversation without ever making eye contact as he plays on the iPod.

Boy: (Entering the bedroom at 7AM and sitting at my desk) I’m playing my new Spider-Man game.

Me: How about a “Good Morning Dad”?

Boy: No. I need to focus on my game.

Me: Maybe the game can take you and your sister trick-or-treating later?

Julia: (Popping into the room for a split second to mark her territory) I love you dad and we will be trick or treating right after school! Andrew can stay home.

Wife: Julia! Breakfast! Now!

Boy: You’re right dad.

Me: Can I get a “Good Morning Dad” and a hug?

Boy: No. I want the iPod to take me trick-or-treating.

Me: Why?

Boy: He won’t eat my candy.

Me: I won’t eat your candy.

Boy: (Game pause, eye roll, and resume game play) You’re lying.

Me: How do you know he won’t eat your candy?

Boy: Because he is a machine and they don’t eat food.

Me: Oh machines can eat food. They can do lots of things like travel back in time, take over the world, and turn everyone into zombies. It’s happened before and they made movies and games all about it. So you can never trust a machine, but you can trust your dad. So you wanna go trick-or-treating?

Boy: I’ll go with you dad.

Me: We’ll have a great time.

Boy: But first could you get me one of those zombies” take over the world and we have to hunt them down” games for the iPod? Zombies are awesome!